Hannah: Triumphs and Speed Bumps

Yesterday was the day of the first marathon I would attempt.
This is the story about that experience.
It is rather agonizing to type the entire story; however, I will copy and paste an email I sent to a dear patient of mine. He is a boston marathoner and we have recently bonded over running.

He was in my office on Thursday and as he was leaving, he took my hands, looked me in the eyes, and said, "No matter how slow you think you're going in the first five miles, you're not going slow enough." Those words burned in my brain.

And this is how things went down.

Good evening!

It's Hannah from [your dental] office. I promised you I would tell you about my experience yesterday and I'm sticking to it.

I have to start off by telling you it's not a good story. I'm actually typing this with heavy fingers.

I did not finish.

I had been sick with the flu and a sinus infection three weeks before the race. Whether or not that had anything to do with it, I do not know. I felt great the week of my race and that left me rather optimistic. I drank a minimum of 80 oz of water each day, and loaded up on healthy carbs that week. I hadn't consumed alcohol since New Years and I eliminated gluten and dairy from my diet (my tummy prefers it that way). My breakfast was the exact breakfast as any other long distance run as well, two eggs, toast with fig preserves, an orange, and green tea. I was well rested and quite positive yesterday morning. I did get a little emotional as my boyfriend drove me to Verado, where the start line was. But I'm always emotional. I was soon greeted by a friend who was running the marathon as well and it helped calm my nerves. When the race started, I remembered what you said and I kept checking my watch to focus on my pace. The beginning of the race is downhill and I didn't want that to mess with my head. I slowed my pace down 30 seconds and felt my feet sync with a woman running to my left. We were at the exact same pace so I kept it up, even though it was slower than my adjustment. 

I tell you, everything felt amazing. I was in good spirits and made friendly chat with the gal I was pacing with. I had fun with the police officers and spectators. That's all I wanted was to have fun my first time. My pace buddy started to speed up but I liked my pace and wanted to stay there a little longer.

Then, I came upon mile 8 and started to feel.... different. I got diarrhea and began to vomit. I thought it might have been some lingering anxiety so I kept running after a bathroom break. But about every mile after that I would throw up and had to stop at every porta potty. My fluid consumption seemed frequent. I ran with a water bottle and utilized the gatorade that was being handed out. I also stuffed some GU in the pouch on my water bottle that I used. For some reason, my stomach was not loving this run.

Anyway, by the time I reached my 17th mile I saw my mom standing ahead with a sign for me. It gave me a confidence boost and helped steady myself but once I reached her I stopped. She came to me and I explained what had happened. She told me to run one more mile as she got in the car and drove alongside me (we were in a neighborhood). I couldn't run without dry heaving. She told me to stop worrying about the race and worry about my health and it took me a couple minutes to realize she was right.

Yesterday the marathon was much bigger than me.

I spent the rest of my day crying and feeling sorry for myself. I really felt like a failure. I had never quit anything before except my High School job. I've never ran a race I could not finish. I felt like I let everyone down, including you. I wanted to give you a victorious story and I know it sounds childish but I think I waited this long to email you because I was hoping it was just a horrible dream. I feel like I had a miscarriage. I had been training for this race for twenty weeks. It is the longest I have ever devoted myself solely to one challenge, aside from school. I feel like this marathon was my baby and I lost it. I pre-ordered my 26.2 sticker and bought a funny marathon t-shirt that says "26.3-- I got lost". I'm going to get those items in the mail this week and receiving those packages will be little stabs that remind me what I did not have. I also have the coolest race shirt I've ever gotten and my bib that I don't know what to do with. Right now they are just painful reminders.

 As we were driving to my house, my mom showed me a pair of new running shoes. She said she was going to put them on and run the last .5 mile with me. It's over a large bridge that gives one huge hill before the finish. She was going to cross the finish line with me. Stab, twist.

Today has been easier. I signed up for the Peoria half marathon in three weeks. I need a triumph soon and I think that race will lift me up.

One friend of mine had to remove herself from the race about a month ago because she had shin splints. We made a pact to run the Tucson marathon this December together. I don't think I will plan on training for a marathon any sooner. I'll keep up with running throughout the week, and I'll likely run a couple more half marathons before then.

Yesterday was a really tough day for me. I admire you even more now for not only being a marathoner, but a Boston qualifying marathoner!

If memory serves me correct, I'll be seeing you in my office right before my half marathon. I'll be looking forward to it.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. You're the first person I actually told the whole story to.

Sincerely,

Hannah

Yeah. It did not go as planned. I wish I knew what caused my body to react that way so I can know what to do to in the future to prevent that from happening.
But to lighten the mood, here are some pictures from the beginning of my day, when I felt I could accomplish anything!

Ready to leave the house!

Emily had the GREATEST bib in the world!

Right past mile marker 1. The lady in the grey shirt is the one who became my pace buddy.

 All in all, it was a gorgeous day for a run. And I'm amazed I got as far as I did. I started feeling sick at mile 8 but I ran a total of 17 miles.

Crystal and I made a pact to run the Tucson marathon this December so we can both fight through it together.
Until then, I'm going to focus back on rock climbing with running as my side hobby. I miss rock climbing and I need to desperately work on my strength again!