Life is a fucking roller coaster!

This post is loooong overdue, but here it goes.

My life has been a hot mess since August. It's literally been one thing after another. I keep trying to write this post but like always, I get too long winded and honestly, do you guys really care about every gory detail of my life? Probably not. Here is the bullet point version of my life from the last few months:

• July: Great weeklong vacation to Maine with Kyle and his family! Life it good!

  

  Maine, you're pretty sexy

• Get back from Maine, turns out I will not be getting paid for the 6 days I took off, like I was originally told. FUCK.
  
• August: Two weeks after coming back from vacation my tire blows out on the way to work. FUCK. $130 later, it's fixed. Good thing for that PTO, not.
  
• ONE week after the tire episode, my passenger side window EXPLODES into a million pieces out of thin air. FUUUCK. $140 later, it's fixed.
  
• The start of marathon training, week one is great, first long run is slow, but I feel great after. I go into my second week of training, OUCH. Is this what shin splints feel like? I'll run through it! I go to do my third run of the week, just an easy 4 mile run, and I turn around after one mile, in tears, limping. Is this real life? After lots of reading up on shin splints I decide to take two weeks off. FUCK. This is not a good start to my training. The time off serves well though, I get back to running with some KT tape and PRO compression socks in tow and feel great! ...for a few days. FUCK. I keep this cycle going for the next few weeks: take time off, feel better, pain, lather, rinse, repeat. I start freaking out. I obviously can't run the Tucson Marathon at this rate, I am completely under trained. I only have 1 long run under my belt. I feel depressed. I feel stressed. I develop insomnia thinking about running all the time. I decide to not train for my marathon. I can sleep again, hooray!
  
• September: Financially speaking, we are doing better, hooray!
  
• Call from my brother, he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant AGAIN. He's 20. SIGH.
  
• September 21^st- My 26th birthday, hooray! Missed call from Kyle's mom at 1 in the morning...she's in the hospital with blood clots in her lungs...she lives in Arkansas. OMG OMG OMG. What do we do, what do we do? She assures that she's "okay" despite being in the ICU. She apologizes up and down for "ruining" my birthday. Are you kidding me? I'm ready to jump on a plane right now, fuck my birthday! We have a fun day but our hearts are heavy and we are on edge for the next week.
  
• September 30^th- I get laid off. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
• October: Kyle’s stepmom is diagnosed with breast cancer.  FUCK. OMG. FUCK. OMG. FUCK. This is how Kyle’s grandmother died. We are all an emotional wreck but we keep a positive and hopeful attitude. Fuck you cancer, you’re going down! Losing my job seems so trivial now.
• Late October- It’s Kyle’s 27^th birthday, Halloween and our 6 year anniversary. I’m broke and still unemployed. I’m stressed the fuck out and sad that I couldn’t do the things for Kyle like I had wanted. He always goes above and beyond for me and all I want to do is return the favor.
• November: Kinda starting to feel good about running again, start doing some 2-3 mile runs during the week again, we do the Color me Rad 5k as a group and have a blast, and I do a long run of 6 miles that actually feels okay. Woo! I decide I still have enough time to train for the IMS Marathon in the February!
  

  

  4 Fit Friends (+Andrea) do the Color Me Rad 5k!

• Kyle and I break up. I’m sad; I’m angry. What’s next, a car accident? It doesn’t feel like it things can get much worse from here but I have great friends who helped me get through those first couple of days. I’m going to take this moment to thank Hannah for reaching out to me and graciously buying me a couple of drinks – prior to this we had never hung out just the two of us and it REALLY meant a lot to me!
• Novermber 16^th- I do my first ever trail 5k. It's tough but I end up getting 8th place in my age group and it helps me keep my mind off things. until I reach the finish line and I realized Kyle is not there. Seeing his face at the finish line is always my favorite part of running a race. 

  

  Coming down the trail

  
  
• Kyle and I get back together. This is long drawn out story but we basically decide to work things out because we never stopped loving each other, we just started fighting a lot more towards the end. We both know it’s going to be a long and narrow road to a successful relationship, but we plan on doing whatever it takes to get there.
• I am feeling better about my relationship; I am feeling better about running. I do 3 runs during this week, including some speed work. I fall into the same pattern of running again: feels great, feels, okay, OUCH. I do an Ugly Sweater 5k on Nov. 23^rd with Kyle and his family and we have a great time. It was so much fun, except for the excruciating pain in my lower legs. FUCK. I can’t afford to go to the doctor and see what’s going on. I can’t afford surgery. I can’t afford physical therapy or sports massages. I can’t afford new running shoes. I. GIVE. UP.
  

  

  Post Ugly Sweater 5k beers (well mine's technically a cider..)

• December: The bad: I still have no job. I cannot run (I’ve tried short runs here and there and it just is not happening. It actually hurts to walk sometimes :/). The IMS Marathon is now out of reach. I cannot run the half marathon I am signed up for this weekend. The good: Kyle and I are doing pretty well. It hasn’t always been rainbows and butterflies since getting back together, but we are both trying so hard to correct the problems that made us break up. We are having fun with each other more and not letting stress weasel it’s way between us as much. Things feel good. Kyle’s stepmom is doing well with chemo…I mean despite the hair loss and nausea and all the other harsh realities of chemo but she is a fighter and is still as feisty as ever and getting around on her own okay.

Things are shitty for everyone at one point or another and things just happen to be shitty for me right now. I know this is temporary. I know I will find a job. I know I will have health insurance once again and be able to visit the doctor and see what’s going on with my legs. I know I will run a marathon someday (hopefully sooner than later). I know Kyle and I will make it past this rough patch, because you simply just don’t give up on the one person you love most in this world. I know Kyle’s stepmom is going to beat cancer and come out stronger than ever. And most importantly I know that some other shitty stuff will happen along the way, but at the end of the day, life is good. I MUST always remember this. I have someone who loves me. I have two dogs who love me. I have parents and a brother who love me. I have a second family who loves me thanks to Kyle – I am so thankful that they have accepted me into their from day one. And I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for who love me. 

What else do I need? Everything else is just icing on the cake. 

                                                -Crystal